How to Throw a Perfect Surprise Party

Today I am going to tell you how to throw the perfect surprise party.  The kind where the person whose birthday it is is totally and completely surprised.

Image courtesy of mrsiraphol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Step 1. Make sure it is a first birthday.

That's it.  There are no more steps.

When Oldest Girl was turning one we were living in a small cheap apartment while we waited for our house in another state to sell.  No one had ever visited us there and I don't think Oldest Girl was aware that such a thing was possible.

The list of people Oldest Girl truly knew and loved at that point in her life was pretty small so when pretty much all of them walked in the door and said surprise, she was stunned.

She sat there in total disbelief and delight.  And then we got on with the party and a great time was had by all.

We threw a surprise party for my dad when he turned 50.

It is hard to throw a surprise party for a pastor and invite the entire church and have it still be a surprise. But we almost pulled it off.

He pretended to be surprised but when we asked if he had guessed he told us the truth. Earlier that day some idiot a caring member of the congregation called him at the church to ask him if the party that night was at the church or at his house.

He was surprised when my oldest brother showed up having flown in from out of town.  So at least we surprised him a little.

Moral of the story:  It is a lot harder to surprise an adult than a baby.

Trumpet Lamp

Here is another of my what to do with all the junk makeovers.

Way back when Music Girl first started band she played the trumpet. We found a good sounding trumpet at a thrift store while traveling during summer vacation. What a deal we figured.

Then Music Girl went back to school and came home from the first day of band all excited about switching to the French Horn.

So the trumpet sat on top of a wardrobe in her room.
Unused.
Unloved.
Unplayed.

Until the 9.0 Great Tohoku Earthquake of March 2011.

It crashed to the floor and really hasn't been the same since.

But you don't just throw a musical instrument in the recycle bin do you?

One of the many challenges with our new house is lacking of lighting.
Only the kitchen and family room have overhead lighting.  So we needed lamps.

I checked Pinterest and found lots of pictures but no actual plans.  So that trumpet just sat around waiting.

Until I was sorting through boxes of junk that had been in storage and found a fully functional light socket on a brass pole that had apparently been part of a lamp at some point back in the midst of time.  I don't know what happened to that lamp but the Professor saved this bit and occasionally used it as a trouble light.

Since it was the same color as a trumpet, a light bulb went off in my head.*

I used highly technical and complicated skills to zip tie the light to the top of the trumpet and I tied the cord around the bottom.  Then I  stuck on a lamp shade I had been planning to toss.

Viola, a trumpet lamp.

The lamp shade was pretty hideous so I got out some of my scrapbooking paper, cut it to size, folded it in pleats and hot glued it on.  Someday I might remove the paper and modge podge it with hymnal pages like I did for Music Girl's trash can, but for now I'm pretty happy with my lamp.

For now it is sitting on top of the piano.  You know, the one no one ever plays.  The one that was last played on this occasion.


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*Do you like the pun?  I am my father's daughter.

By the way...

Type "most dreaded phrase" into google and you will come up with a plethora of articles written about the phrase "We need to talk".

But for me the most dreaded phrase is "By the way..."

This phrase gets used frequently in my house but somehow it is never followed by anything good.  I have never heard the following:

• By the way, I got 100% on that test I studied for.
• By the way, I'm leaving work early tomorrow to come home and take you to lunch.
• By the way, I loaded the dishwasher for you since I saw you were busy.

Instead the "By the ways..." in our house sound more like this.

• By the way, I need a check for $200 for band.
• By the way, I need to go in to work early tomorrow and I probably won't be home for dinner.
• By the way, all of my underwear is too tight and/or has holes so I've been wearing the same pair for a couple of days.  You should probably buy me some new pairs.

Image courtesy of Iamnee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My latest favorite came the other night at 9:00pm when Imagination Boy said to me, "By the way, I need assorted candy."

Me:  Assorted candy?

IB: Yes

Me: By when?

IB:  Tomorrow

Me: Why?

IB: For school.  (Imagination boy is a firm believer in never sharing too much information at once. It's like he thinks he is being charged by the word.)

Me: What kind of candy?

IB: Assorted

Me:  But what does that mean?

IB:  You know, assorted.

Me:  (Deciding to try a different tack) What is the candy for?

IB: School

Me: Yes, we established that already.  But what is it for at school?  Are you bringing it in to share for a class party.  Is it for a project?  What exactly are you planning to do with the assorted candy?

IB:  It's for a project.

Me:  Could you be more specific?

IB:  A science project

Me:  Could you be more specific?

IB: I need to create an edible cell model using assorted candy.

Finally, we were getting somewhere.  I could give you the rest of the conversation but if you have ever had school aged children or been one yourself you know where this is going.  Fill in for yourself the "how long have you known about this project", "what is your plan for solving this problem" and so on.

In the end, Imagination Boy turned in a brilliant edible cell made of cake and assorted candies.  I'd show you a picture but we forgot to take one.

I'd be even more frustrated with this behavior if I didn't recognize the pattern in myself sometimes. When there is a project I don't want to do, I also have a tendency to ignore it hoping it will just somehow go away.  I can't say that this strategy has ever been a helpful or useful one for me.

Laundry Routines

One of the good and bad things about a move is that it rips away your normal routines of daily life and forces you to figure out new ones.

This is bad because until you lose them you don't realize how comforting routines are.  Until you develop new routines, you feel unsettled and walk around with a vague sense of disequalibrium and also generally take way too long to do simple tasks.

This is good because some of your routines aren't really helpful but you keep doing it that way because that is just the way you do it.

And figuring out those new routines is a process of trial and error to see what works and what doesn't in your new home and location.  I always say it is a major accomplishment in each move when I finally settle into the routine for laundry that works in our new location.

Image courtesy of Keerati / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In this house, I think I have now nailed my favorite laundry routine of all time.

For the record it is as follows.  Small hamper in kid's bath and master bedroom.  Emptied almost every day into three large hampers  (darks, mediums, whites) next to washer and dryer.  When one of these hampers is full, throw load in wash.  Put clean clothes in basket, hanging up items that need it on rod dangling from ceiling (thanks, Professor, brilliant idea).  Place basket on table next to dryer.

When tower of baskets on table threatens to tople or someone runs out of underwear grab Oldest Girl to help fold clothes and put away. Oldest Girl is necessary because she is the only member of the family who can tell her clothes apart from Music Girl's.

Music Girl will wear anything placed in her laundry basket as long as it is comfortable. Seasonal appropriateness and/or fashion and/or presence of holes in unfortunate locations will not faze her.

Imagination Boy will wear anything as long as it is black, jeans, an acceptable t-shirt (dark and plain or with some kind of geeky saying), or a black hoodie (since he wears a hoodie year round everywhere he goes I don't know why he cares so much about the t-shirts but he does).

When we lived in Japan and Hirokosan came to clean the house each week including doing the laundry, she had a tendency to assume any black clothes that weren't obviously man sized were Imagination Boy's.  He came out of his room one morning complaining that these pants are a little big. He was wearing my pants.  Whenever the girls couldn't find an item of clothing that was black they learned to look in Imagination Boy's room.

Since she also unloaded the dishwasher, Hirokosan's visits also led to the fun family game of "If you were Hirokosan, where do you think you would put the potato peeler (or whatever)?"

I miss Hirokosan.

But I digress, back to laundry.  A basket of clean folded laundry is deposited in each person's room. They all deal with it in their own way.

Oldest Girl has a detailed and complicated system for where each type (with subcategories) belongs and she puts them there.

Music Girl has a dresser and a closet with a system for where each type of clothing belongs.  However this system was developed by Oldest Girl and is rarely used.  Instead she just pulls her favorites out of the laundry basket until I tell her to put her clothes away because I'm running out of empty laundry baskets in which to pile clean laundry at which point she dumps the clean clothes on the floor and gives me an empty laundry basket.  About once a month or so Oldest heaves a big sigh and goes in to Music's room and puts things away where they "belong".  Music Girl is leaving on a school trip tomorrow so I hope Oldest Girl doesn't have much homework tonight as she will definately need to help pack.

Imagination Boy has the simplest system.  He takes his laundry basket and dumps the entire contents into the large plastic tub in his closet.  Done.

The Professor has a detailed and complicated system like Oldest Girl's but since he isn't interested in actually putting his clothes away himself he makes do with the somewhat more simplified system I'm willing to adhere to.

And I put my clothes away in a system that works for me more or less.  I find myself getting rid of clothes if they don't fit my system.

Since Oldest Girl is currently taking both Sociology and Psychology I figure she could do a term paper about our laundry habits and what it says about us.

Eating Out American Style

Another adjustment to life in America has been eating out.

Image courtesy of KEKO64 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Since we moved into a house and almost immediately tore apart the kitchen we did a fair bit of this.

We are still trying to get used to the differences between America and Japan.  These include

• getting a bill and paying the waiter rather than going up to the counter to pay.

One of the first times we went out Music Girl was horrified when we started to walk out of the restaurant.  "Dad, we can't leave without paying."  She had missed the subtle exchange between her father and the waiter at the table.

• being able to ask questions.

At a Thai restaurant Oldest Girl was concerned that a certain choice might be too spicy for her.  "You can just ask the waitress how spicy it really is." the Professor suggested.  It hadn't occurred to her that such a thing was possible.

• kid friendly food everywhere

My picky eaters are still adjusting to the fact that it is nearly impossible for us to choose a restaurant where they can't find something on the menu they like.



And that's just the tip of the iceberg.  Other differences include:

• quantity versus quality
• large glasses of water refilled frequently versus one tiny glass that you have to ask to have refilled or do it yourself
• enormous menus with a wide variety versus a plastic food display with a few choice options
• waiters who try to take your order when you have barely begun to read that enormous menu versus a button to push when you are ready to order

The kids have really enjoyed all the burger joints that seem to have sprung up in our absence.  It is their goal to try them all, purely for comparison purposes.  So far the winner is Smash Burger which happens to be walking distance from our house.  Unfortunately it isn't as healthy or as cheap as Kappa Sushi which was even closer to our house in Japan, but it is tasty.

Missing Military

I sold our old fridge today.  This is pretty exciting for me since it has been taking up space in my basement since the Professor bought a new one at a Thanksgiving day sale.  I've listed it several times on craigslist and thought I had buyers all lined up but they failed to show.

Apparently the 5th time is the charm.

There was a moment this morning after I finished making arrangements over the phone and realized that I had just told a stranger my address and exactly when I was leaving for and returning from work when I wondered if it was foolish to be planning to let someone who contacted me via craigslist into the house while I was home alone.

But the thought of actually getting rid of the fridge and for CASH seemed to me to outweigh the minuscule risk of rape and/or dismemberment.

I got home from work and the buyer showed up soon afterwards.  He was a nice looking, clean cut guy who brought a 75 year old father in law with him.  I figured no one brings a father in law along for a rape so I was probably safe.

Image courtesy of taoty / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We got to chatting and I found out he was Air Force.  And not only that he had been stationed in Japan and had flown his Blackhawk up to our neck of the woods many times.  Now he is at the Pentagon which he is just enduring.  I've yet to met a pilot who was happy to be stationed at the Pentagon.

I can not tell you how much this brightened my day.

Loss looms large for me these days and one of those losses that I didn't expect to be so hard is the loss of the military lifestyle.  I miss it way more than I imagined I would.  It was a major part of my life for six years that now is completely and totally gone.

When I see someone in military uniform I practically have to restrain myself from going up to talk to them.  At work today a Major walked by.  If I hadn't been leading a bunch of three year olds in parachute games at the moment I think I would have followed him just to chat.  ("So, where are you stationed?  Where else have you been?  Oh, me too.  Do you know so and so?")  But trust me, you do not turn your back on a dozen 3 year olds with a parachute so I refrained.

Here's some of what I miss

• fast friendships (there's no time to take it slow)
• people who have time to meet for coffee or lunch or girls night out
• knowing your spouses co-workers and running into them while grocery shopping
• running into people you know everywhere you go
• being called Ma'am and having doors held open for me (by men and women)
• interracial couples and that being common and no big deal
• people taking pride in their appearance (and not in a pretentious designer clothes sort of way just in a being fit and neat and well groomed way)
• going out to dinner with visiting VIPs
• being surrounded by people who I know would die for me and for our country
• having one grocery store and one department store and if I can't find it there I wait several weeks or I do without

I'm not saying everyone or everything in the military is perfect or that the above applies to everyone, far from it, but there is a lot to admire and I miss it.

So I'm very happy to think of my fridge going to the nice pilot who not only didn't dismember me but also gave me cash and made my day a little brighter.

Engrish

There are many reasons I miss Japan but one of them is the joy of stumbling upon Engrish.

Engrish is the use of English by the Japanese that somehow misses something in translation and thus is unintentionally funny.

After pulling photos off my old phone I found several examples.  Here are some of my favorites.

This is the sign in front of a toll road rest area restaurant.  Rather a lot to promise don't you think.  Beats the heck out of the Roy Rogers on the Ohio Turnpike.

Or there is this:

English clothing labels are never this entertaining.

And for Father's Day:

I don't know what happens to the dull fathers.

I like the photo they choose to illustrate Fathers.  It made me wonder what would happen if 5 guys showed up together without their families. Would they get the discount?


Nothing like truth in advertising:

Although I admit I was tempted to check out the Swanky Drunky Factory.  Too bad the kids were with us.


On the same theme, here was the drinks menu for a karaoke bar:

Much more fun than "All You Can Drink for one price"

These are just the ones that were left on my phone.  I'm have many others in other places.  If you enjoyed these you might want to check out this site www.engrish.com/